We bought a new vacuum cleaner. My wife left it out by the recliner. When I came downstairs at five o'clock the next morning, I saw what appeared to be a skeleton sitting seductively in the moonlight, one leg draped over the armrest.
I freaked out, to be sure, and damn near dropped the dog in my hands. But once I knew I was looking at a vacuum I felt disappointment. I've tried leaving jackets and various hats on the chair since, but you can't trick your own mind into conjuring more monsters.
There will come a day, though, when an actual creature is waiting for me. It will spring from the recliner and chomp on my neck and my pug will land on the floor and watch the beast devour me. I'll feel angry that my dog didn't help me…but I'll also be oddly happy that monsters are real.