If you're able to get up in the middle of the night and pee in a dark bathroom, I offer my sincere and utmost respect.
You are a much braver soul than I. You are the alpha tribal chieftain and I am the cowering, craven cur awaiting tossed scraps of meat as you regale us with tales of the day's mammoth hunt. You sit without fear upon your throne in the hours 'twixt madness and sanity, and I'm here to salute you.
How I wish I'd never read that most black widow bites occur on men's scrotums while they sat on a toilet. And I often ask myself why I ever watched those clips of friendly brown rats waiting to say, "Ho there!" when the lid is lifted. While I'm voicing regrets, many curses upon Reddit for ever showing me a coiled viper chilling inside a porcelain bowl.
But please, alpha human, don't let my need to turn on the lights first dissuade you from your brave, nightly endeavors.
You do you, chief.